Life Goes On

Huscaran - the second largest mountain in the Americas.

One of the biggest challenges of life overseas, or in this case in the Peace Corps, is that as you are facing all of these great new adventures in a new culture with cool people, all the cool people you left behind in the States (or elsewhere) are having great adventures that you are missing. For example, my friend Brenda emailed me today to tell me she will be having her fourth child in just three short days. I have barely been a part of her third child's life and now I'm over here and won't even be in the same country (let alone the same state or city) for the delivery of this child. And sometimes this thought makes me very sad.

But maybe what makes me even more sad is the passing of my good friend Noah Ginnings at the age of 26 after a 7 year battle with brain cancer. I recieved the news Thursday afternoon via email from another good friend and have pretty much cried the last two days. It's hard to lose someone, but it's even harder when you have no one else to mourn with, no one who knows who you are talking about and what impact that person had on your life.

And these are only a few examples other friends have had babies, gotten married, found new jobs, started dating, broke up with the love of their lives, etc. And yet, what I do now, where I live now has become the new normal. I wake up to the knowledge that I am often more concerned with how my PC friends are doing, or if my counterpart's grandson has been released from the hospital, and how my Spanish is fairing in any given setting. All adventures. I guess sometimes it just feels like a shame that we only get to live one life at a time. And sometimes, I guess that's more than enough. But right now, for me, it's just not enough. I want to be able to hold my brand new niece or nephew (Brenda's child, yep, she's like a sister) shortly after s/he is born. I want to attend Noah's memorial service and cry my eyes out with others whose lives he touched. But I also want to be here hanging out the with the students at the school Virgen de las Merecedes and cracking jokes with my host family at dinner.

The next step, of course, is that I return to the States and I start to miss out on the adventures here in Peru. I find myself thinking about this more than I should while I'm still living here. I'll miss the graduation of my favorite class of students to work with, my host sisters will get married and have children - hopefully after they finish university, and my host grandparents will pass away (also hopefully after some time).

I did sign up for this, and the double life is one we live whether we want to or not. So, I guess I write this post to say "keep in touch." I still want to be a part of your lives, and I write this blog to keep you firmly in mine.

Yes, I live here. Don't hate.

Life is Better in Catilluc...sorry to worry you.

So, I know that was quite the cliffhanger I left you with the last time I posted, and I’m sorry about the infrequency of blogs, but Internet has been touch and go in Catilluc as of late. I don’t have constant access like I do when school is in session.

But the good news is that everything is better. I really love my time in Catilluc. I’m either more able to handle the situation or the gossip has died down. Either way, I am the happiest I’ve been since I came to Catilluc. I feel like I’m starting to develop some great friendships. At the top of the list is my next-door neighbor, Rosa. She’s been such an asset and advocate for me. I have been spending more and more time with her family, so much so that I call her mom, “Mama Casilda.” And now that I’m starting to speak proficiently and making connections in the community, I have begun to figure out who is part of Rosa’s/my extended family, and we jokingly refer to each other as aunt or niece or whatever. It makes me feel like I’m starting to become part of the community.

Of course, I’m moving and so preparations are under way to move into my friend Marly’s house. I’m excited and nervous about the move. I am excited to leave my current situation, as I really have no idea what is going on with my host parents. They seem to be having problems, but it’s not like they would talk to me about it. In fact, the other day when Maximo returned home he went into his room and cried. I only know this because his four year old soon was in the common room and he whispered it to me. And both of my parents are gone. I haven’t seen my host mom since before Christmas. And Maximo tends to be a little passive-aggressive, and in a culture where that is already fairly prevalent, this is a hard thing to handle. I feel like my next family will be much more direct with me about how I’m doing. Yet, I don’t have any furniture and they don’t have a door or glass on their window. So, I’m still waiting until I can move in.

I’ve been opening the CAID everyday, but I do feel like there is other work I would like to do. I feel like I would much rather work with teenagers than the pre-teens and children that tend to show up at the CAID all the time. I’m not sure how to get more teens to come without isolating the youngsters, but I know I’m much happier working with the older group. Plus, I feel like a lot of the work is on hold until school starts again in March. But I have a number of ideas in which to work in the secondary school.

Here’s an update of pictures as well. Take care.

Dancing with the Prof. Antenor at the primary school promotion.

My siblings from training lighting up firecrackers at midnight on Navidad.

Today is a good day!

So ever since I found out about my assignment in Peru my emotions have been wavering between joy, sadness, fear, excitement. The whole gamut really. Now I'm an emotional girl, moody if you will, but I've been somewhat overwhelmed lately by the amount of fear I have about leaving family and friends to go live in another country where I don't speak the language for over two years. On many a day, I'm truthfully - freaking out! But today is a good day. I feel ready to tackle any challenge. I feel like learning a new language will be a breeze. I feel like the world is my oyster. Today is a good day. But we'll just have to take it one day at a time, and that means that who knows how I'll feel tomorrow.